Like a thief in the night...

Someone's been stealing my banana peppers.

I have a very small yard out behind our evil homestead, and most of it is the exclusive domain of our faithful hellhound Hastur. This area serves as his playground, exercise room, and outhouse, all in one.

Of the remaining yard, most of it is taken up by either the concrete walkway to the back gate, or the small patio area with a wrought iron table and chairs that Grammammy overlord gave us as patio furniture for a wedding gift.

This leaves about a measly ten square feet of bare ground (which was originally supposed to be a flower bed) bordering the patio area in an L-shape which serves as my makeshift garden. For those of you who don't garden, ten square feet is not very much space for growing stuff. The most I've been able to fit in it so far is one tomato plant, one ginormous dill plant (the thing is literally as tall as I am. There must be some weird runoff from the toxic waste pit in the basement that's making it grow or something), one sickly bunch of chives, a small rosemary plant, and five healthy banana pepper plants.

For the last two months I've watered, tended, and occasionally weeded my tiny little garden in the hopes of some day soon having enough banana peppers to harvest and pickle so that I could use them on sandwiches and pizzas and the like. Long have I suffered and toiled under the blazing hot sun so that one day I could reap the fruits of my own labor, earned through my own blood, sweat and tears

And now someone's been stealing my g**-d**ned banana peppers!!!!!!

I'm pretty sure it's not Hastur, because he doesn't like vegetables as a rule, and at least one of them has disappeared while he was at the park with us.

My best guess is that it's some sort of small sneaky animal like a squirrel or raccoon or maybe even a cat of some sort.

So now my choices are either stay out all night with thermoscopic goggles and a .30-.30, waiting for the creature to show itself so that I can engage it in mortal kombat; or else go back to eating store bought banana peppers.

I love when things boil down to a win-win situation.



Oh, and as a completely random side note, we just recently hit our 666th page view here at the dungeon. The lucky blog surfer who became our 666th victim will receive a coupon for 25% off their next thumb screws, iron maiden, or hot poker session.*

*Offer void where prohibited. Offer cannot be combined with any other coupons or promotions. Coupon value 1/666 of a cent. No substitutions, exchanges, or refunds.

----------------------------------------------------------------

"Things to Read While You Suffer" update:

Khaos Komix - I just discovered this amazing comic yesterday and I've already blazed through the entire archive. This is the story of a group of friends in high school who are discovering who they are and what they want from life. Featuring extremely realistic characters and great artwork, this comic explores very complex issuess about identity and sexual orientation and deals with some of the questions facing the modern gay community. In an interesting twist, the comic is divided into chapters, each of which tells the story from the perspective of a different character, slowly exposing a complex web of relationships and viewpoints. This one is not for the faint hearted or easily offended, but anyone who is interested in LGBT issues or gender studies in general should probably give it a chance. Warning: This comic contains very adult situations and artwork. It's on your own head if you decide to access this one at work, or anywhere else for that matter.